Day Nineteen #NaPoWriMo2019

Day Nineteen #NaPoWriMo2019

By Alex McGehee

 

Adorable

Beautiful

Cute

Dogs

Effortlessly, elegantly

Free, feisty,

Goddesses

Holy

Incarnate

Jolly

Kind

Loving

Moving

Nervous

Observant

Pious

Questioning

Resilient

Stellar

Terrible, terrific, trouble

Unquestioning

Vibrant, vocal

Wizards, witches, women, walksies

Xenial

Youngling

Zestful, zany, zippy, zigzag.

Day Eighteen #NaPoWriMo2019

Day Eighteen #NaPoWriMo2019

By Alex McGehee

 

My lamentation for you

Is in nearly everything.

Perhaps not

The color pink,

or, the orange of a sunset.

Not in the cool sands of Seattle’s beaches,

Or in bellydancing in a room lacking floorspace.

No, you are not in the candles, carefully lit by Catholics,

Though you were with me for Chanukah, and taught me prayers

Only Buddha knew.

You found the sound of Arabic sung

So beautiful, panting in delight,

Ears high in happy, attentive, listening.

You are in my mindfulness, in every step I arrive in,

In my breath, and in the spaces without breath,

You are.

Day Eleven #NaPoWriMo2019

Day Eleven #NaPoWriMo2019

By Alex McGehee

 

Things that amuse me, poems to write,

Poems to amuse me, in spirit and sight.

Things that worry me, and things I adore,

Sitting on the computer, wanting more and more.

Communication and comfort, is all that I seek,

So I spend more time on social media, week after week,

And suddenly I realize, everything has gotten quite bleak,

And anxious, when it was only truth that I seek.

Peace and truth, and hope and love,

And comfort that there is, some kind of God above.

I look and I hope, and I listen and wait,

Praying for the Lord, my soul to take.

So now social media, let me gone,

We played around for a while, sang a few songs,

But now I am tired and you’ll soon be bored,

Because nothing this Autistic girl can do, will leave you truly floored.

In the way that you want, in the way that you need,

Desiring to have influence, so many people to please,

Never can you really, be true to yourself,

So many factor to compromise, so many risks to your health,

Mental and physical, psychological too,

So for now social media, ado, ado. 

Day Four #NaPoWriMo2019

Day Four #NaPoWriMo2019 Poem One

By Alex McGehee

 

My analytic mind in research mode

Is all I know

Unable to move to unthinking

Creative space,

Emptiness,

My meditations always busy mantras,

A sneaky way to work all the time.

Workaholic.

Day Three #NaPoWriMo2019

Day Two #NaPoWriMo2019 Poem One

By Alex McGehee

 

“Daddy!” I cried out. Two syllables. Give him more time to hear,

To get up. “Daddy!” The word my mother tells him not to go to.

“Mommy!” I call the devil instead, God isn’t listening today, his fallen angel has his ear.

No help comes.

I bang my head on the red bar above my bed to bring myself to sleep.

I’m six, with Autism, and I can’t sleep with all the light and noise and hunger and pain.

I listen to my parents, laughing and happy

In their private world of adult time,

The dolls in bed, packed back in their boxes.

I will not rise before seven am in fear of breaking curfew.

Day Two #NaPoWriMo2019

Day Two #NaPoWriMo2019 Poem Three

By Alex McGehee

 

In daylight, a slip is a white-out.

In darkness, a slip is a black-out.

In day, I dream.

At night, I live the life too painful to be awake to.

My dreams and life, inside out, as if to protect the delicate stitch-work of reality,

I wear my dreams on the outside, and live my nightmares in my head.

Day Two #NaPoWriMo2019

Day Two #NaPoWriMo2019 Poem Two

By Alex McGehee

 

Dreams.

In my dreams,

I roll under a car, desperate not to be seen

By the boy in the baby blue top-down.

silent, flat, begging God to be invisible, begging for it to end. Have I just passed out

From the torture, blacked out, dreaming

When I awake?

I see the brown work boots. Around the car.

First two then six then eight, ten.

“Over here!”

I am dragged out, beaten.

I awake into my blackout.

Day Two #NaPoWriMo2019

Day Two #NaPoWriMo2019 Poem One

By Alex McGehee

 

How I slept, going to sleep early.

Nightmares and daydreams, all in one,

My lovers help me escape from hell.

You, Amanda Palmer, and Belle.